Change

I believe everyone has a secret and opinion to share. There is no solid right or wrong opinion, just the matter whether it is appropriate, acceptable or otherwise.

I do believe that everyone will eventually change. No one can ever sticks to a concrete characters, feeling, behaviour or opinion forever. One will ultimately change from bad to better, better to best or sadly even good to bad.

 

Someone who you missed the most may not even think about you.

Someone who once cared you the most may not heeded you ultimately

.

Someone who you trusted the most once, may be the one who breached it.

Someone who you hated the most yesterday may end up to be the one who you missed today.

Someone who once was your friend may end up to be a stranger to you. 

 

Someone who was once your foe may became your best friend unexpectedly.

Someone who used to be so mean may be the one who you can rely the most.

Someone who once you loved with all your heart may be the one who started all the hatred.

Someone who you ignored once, may be the one want the meet the most

Someone who once the one that made you happy, may be the one who always hurt your feeling

Someone who once shared everything with you, may started to keep secrets from you now

Someone who once always beside you, may already have someone better

Someone who once you always be waiting for, may not even shown up today

Don’t expect too much from someone else, we may be the one who are sad at the end... 

 

Life is all about uncertainty; undoubtedly we will never know what will happen tomorrow. We may have planned everything perfectly and no flaws can ever happen. Yet, we can only plan, but God will decide it. We must believe God only want the best for us, He knows what we don’t know. We may expect something we like is good for us and likewise, yet God knows more than that.

.................................................................

I believe everything will never be the same forever, despite how bad we want it to be. Some people do not understand how important it to us and some do not know how to appreciate what they have until they actually lose it, worst; some not even know what to do with it when there is a chance. 

 

Dear friend,

It has been a while we didn’t see each other. Last time, I was very sad when we said our farewell. I almost cried but still pretended to be strong coz I have faith that we will meet again. Sadly, now everything changed in a blink. You are no longer the one that I knew, the one I felt long to see, the one who always encouraged me and the one who always told me to stand up whenever I fell. 

 

I never blamed you coz I knew that everyone changed and once they did, they would never be the same. I was grateful to be given a good friend as you once and I regretted that I never really tried to appreciate you. But, now I knew how it felt when losing someone we loved.

Maybe I was wrong for judging you like this, but I could feel it. I’m sorry if during our friendship, I did hurt your feeling but I didn’t realize it, maybe I didn’t pay attention when you needed me the most, maybe I wasn’t there when you called my name. I’m sorry for all those. Despite, everything has changed, I will forever and always keep you in a special place in my heart, best friend forever.

I'm happy having u guys, yet I'm pity u guys for having me

Another Journal

29.11.2009, Thursday

It was the SPM’s week. I was sitting alone in the surau holding a thick biology book. The green cover had tear apart, not because I was studying too hard, perhaps because I didn’t wrap it with the plastic wrapper. I looked into page by page but with no intention to read through them. I was thinking where all my friends were. I griped a pencil and started writing something in the book, an empty space between the countless words.

“Huh, life is not a plain sailing. A few days to go!! NO.....! What life would be after this? Only God knows... Pray for my success, friends...Thanks!”

05.07.2011, Friday

Somehow, Alhamdulillah, thanks to God. Life afterwards wasn’t as scary and bad as I expected. A good financial support enabled me to study in a city called Sunway. All these while I have been travelling to the northern side, now I was going to the eastern side of Malaysia. I was able to meet very caring, joyful and inspiring good friends. They portrayed to me a different perspective and angle of life and open a gate to a new world of friendship.

Of course there were good and sad moments together. However, I kept the sweet moments in my heart and just forgave and forgot the bad ones. 

 

Today.....

It is back to uncertainty. I have passed two stages in life and about to enter the third one, indeed everyone will. Honestly, I really missed my friends in college’s life. Yet, life must go on. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget. Once again...pray for my success, buddy! Thanks 

I'm happy having u guys, yet I'm pity u guys for having me

Hardship to cherish

I believe everyone has incredible and inspiring stories to tell and hoping there is someone to listen to. Stories about courage, hardship, survival and truly they are memorable and worth to be listened to.

It was my dream to go to an island and have a great time there. Yet, I never expected it would ever come true. I went for kayaking around the Pangkor Island under the hot blazing sun for 5 hours, jungle trekking climbing up 3 hills in Pangkor within 2 days while carrying a massive bag in my back, plus all the leeches that were hungry for blood, camping beside the beach for two nights, hardly starting up fire for cooking, struggling in setting up the tent...all these I did together with my other 13 companions in Out Bound School (OBS) in Lumut. Who could ever believe we were able to accomplish all these, honestly it was tiring and hard, yet we proved that nothing is impossible.

I have never been to the open sea before, but during kayaking I was very near to the edge of the water. I could see that the water was green, it was deep, wavy and I could feel it was cold, and the sand was white, seeing sea cucumber and jellyfish for the first time...it was really a magnificent experience.

Jungle trekking and climbing hills were really really tough and tiring. It was hard if you have to climb at the same time carrying a huge load on your back. The hills were steep and slippery beside habituated by lots of leeches. But, reaching the top was a gratifying moment. Somehow, walking down was not as easy as expected, it was slippery and it was getting dark.

Truly, it was not the destination that was crucial, but the journey.

Undoubtedly, there is no easy way to gain something we want. Some may already give up when they do not get whatever wants the most and hoping that things will be getting better by itself, naturally. Sadly, that is not happening. Ultimately, we are the one who feel sad and in grieve. I believe we have to give a bash despite we may feel that it is not really giving any effects, yet bit by bit may eventually blooming a good result. Perhaps keep on trying is better that giving up easily. There is no easy path to gain something, we may have to wade obstacles along the way, we may fall sometimes, yet we need the strength to go back up again, we may feel disappointed....but we must believe something better will happen eventually.

We made it!

We conquered those hills!

OBS rocks!

The hall!so nostalgic...

It was really a wonderful and memorable experience. I was able to tie a new friendship; meeting with my old friends from Sunway...I really miss them a lot. May we see each other again one day.

I got the Ob spirit, up in my head

Deep in my heart, down in my knee

I got the OB spirit all over me, all over me

All over me, today eh...eh

Hopefully we will be somebody in the future.

LOVE

Everyone has questions in their minds, some may still seek for answers and some may be unsolved. Something is puzzling in my mind...like a masterpiece that hard to be solved

Sometimes I wonder what people would say about me at a glimpse, when they not even know me. And I wonder what they think of me after knowing me thoroughly. But, I wonder the most what a girl would expect from a guy. Some may say “I’m not good enough for her” “Who am I if compared to him” “Why they would probably like me, there is nothing special in me”

Everyone will probably want the best for them. Truly, a good girl is for a good guy and otherwise. I believe a girl will seek someone not only based on the way they look, but more than that, perhaps, a special and unique character in someone. Everyone can be kind, caring and sweet with someone they love, but not everyone can make them feel protective and happy. This is what I meant with a unique and common character.

I wonder what is the unique characters in me??

I’m not a guy who is good to lead, but I always try to be a good follower

I’m not a guy who is good to console, but I always try to be a good listener

I’m not a guy who is good to share, but I always try to be tolerance

I’m not a guy who is good to talk, but I always try to mingle

I’m not a guy who is good to protect, but I always try to be helpful

I’m not a guy who is good to be happy, but I always try to smile

I’m not a guy who is good to laugh, but I always try to be funny

I’m not a guy who is good to be nice, but I always try to be kind

I’m not a guy who is good to be what you expected, but I always try to be myself

I’m not a guy who is good to be sweet, but I always try to be a fulfiller

I’m not a guy who is good to be compared, but I always try to be like him

I’m not a guy who is strong, but I always try to be perseverance

I’m not a guy who is good for you, but I always try if you give me a chance

And I’m sorry for not able to be the one everyone have always dreaming  of. I’m just an ordinary guy with a lots of weaknesses and I’m still learning to be a better one. I just know that I’m not good guy. Perhaps, I should wait for someone who is able to see the unique characters in me and accept who I really am...perhaps one day.

I'm happy having u guys, yet I'm pity u guys for having me

A Journey Back Home

Everyone has a story to tell: A voyage full of laughter and joy.

Right from the beginning, my housemates had been begging ( not really actually ) to go to my hometown. However, I kept on insisting. Perhaps I thought there was nothing much could be done in Sekinchan, accept for the majestic view of the paddy fields, nothing else. Somehow, eventually, I agreed.

The night before, we kept on reminding Faris, the main driver to depart at 8.00am plus having breakfast. He did turn up sharply at 8.00am, yet I was still packing my stuffs and Fateh was sleeping, ya...my fault for not waking him up. Finally at 9.30am we were off!

Yup, thank you very very much! I hope you guys enjoy your short visit to this remote town. Sorry for any inconvenient. Hopefully, inshaallah we will see again, looking forward for that! 

My peaceful hometown :) 

This cute thing carried us all the way to Sekinchan~ good job!

My small little home 

Faris, me and Fateh...

View in front of my house

My kampung's name..haha

Broad empty road...

The irrigation system..cool rite?

The calm beach...

Scenery.........

Harvesting machine`Mesin padi we called it..

Hope you guys enjoyed coming to my small quite town...