Repentance

There is no other great word to begin with, rather than Bismillah.

Externally we may seem strong, but inside we are fragile

It was a fine Friday morning, yet my intention not to sleep after Subuh turned to ashes. I fell asleep while browsing the internet via handphone on my pink comfortable bed. Latey, Subuh here is very early, chiefly after the light saving period has ended weeks ago. The sun has already up as early as 6.30am. The wind was blowing strongly. It was autumn and the three months summer  eventually came to an end. Despite the temperature was just 13 degree celcius, it was no-walking-outside without a jumper. A simple breakfast will do, instead of jam or peanut, cold ice-cream was put in the middle of the sliced bread before folding it into half. Indeed, a peculiar breakfast. Actually, I have been on a week holiday and there was still a week remaining before the lectures commenced. It was the last thing that I would think about.

I spent the next few hours reading article on petroleum and unexpectedly ended up scrutinizing PETRONAS’s company account. Based on the balance sheet, obviously they did making lots of profit. I did take a glimpse on Harakah Daily and almost posted on Facebook an attractive article, I presume it was, stating a fact that cost of providing free education up to tertiary education was lots cheaper than the cost of implementing PLKN. Frankly, I thought government should reconsider continuing such patriotic camp. 

Far I have lost, far from guidance

Nevertheless as Subuh, Zuhur was very early too. Nearly 12.15pm, we slid into our small green car who we bought for $1200 from a foreigner, compelled to sell it as he was returning to his country. It was a short 12 minutes drive to Al Khalil Mosque. 

The first 50 minutes made me wondering why it was in Arabic instead of English. I assured, the jamaah wasn’t Arabs in total. We Malaysian were listening patiently for the first half and hour, before some of us succumbed to sleep. Truly, once a Malaysian, always a Malaysian, regardless where were us. A guy stood in front of the crowd, translating the Khutbah, filled the remaining 30 minutes. 

Books, filled small part of our life

Some of the Khutbah,

WHY OUR GOOD DEEDS REJECTED BY ALLAH AZZA WA JALLA

Must believe in Allah

The intention must for Him without seeking complements and fame.

Accordance to Sunnah of Rasulullah, SAW

Those who pray, fast and cumulatively doing good deeds yet at the same time making hidden sins, the deeds may not be accepted, except upon true repentance.

Ya Rabbi,

Far I've travelled

Far from your straight path

Far from your blessings

Oh God,

I'm weak

Drown in self desires

Show me the light

Lighten up my dark heart

Don't ever lose hope, Inshaallah there's still be light tomorrow

Dear reader,


A guy had been running around the house bare footing for several years and one particular day he accidentally stepped on a sharp thorn, yet no wound nor blood seem to appear. The thick skin developed underneath the feet, did really save his life. However, on the other hand a young guy who used to wear thick comfortable leather shoes accidentally stepped on a small sharp object,  when he was bare footing at his green garden. Accordingly, there was a small cut and blood came out.

That is how I describe if your heart is hard and dark, you will no longer feel and guilty and regret for doing any sins. But, those who protect their heart, coat it with undivided faith, unshaken taqwa and strong believe, even a small sin will hurt and touch their heart.

I may not seem a very religious person nor have an in depth and thorough knowledge in it. Yet, I do know and believe everyone does mistakes in life. It is just a matter of how they cope with it. They possess all the free choices available, to do it successively or to turn over a new leaf. Similarly as me. I choose it for the my betterment, and hopefully you too will make the right choice.

Truly, our iman is like a wave. The wind may  blows strongly, and it rises high up in the air creating huge waves with peak and trough. We can either be swimming on the top nor drowning under.

Lets we have a pure strong heart. May we all change for the better. 

That's for now. Take care and till next time.