A boy

There is no other greater word to begin with, rather than

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

A day full of blessing and love

You are never obliged nor compel to read, it is a fair choice. 

It had been awhile since it last rained in Adelaide. Suddenly it started raining today, as if it answered to my sorrow heart. It had always a delightful to me whenever it rained as it sprouted life, comfort and coldness to humankind. It was a blessing. 

There was once a boy, living in the midst of the chaotic life, yet seem peaceful and calm in the eye of others. Gloomy days filled his weeks. He may seem kind and happy, yet there was something, something about him. 

He was never been an outstanding boy and willingly nodded to most of his friends criticises without defending himself nor ire. Admittedly he was never been a stylish person with noble characters or a boy who is good in something like his friends had. Yet, he believed they knew truly nothing about him, how did he struggle to stay afloat while the world tried to sink him, how he learned to run while others were walking and how he tried to be different while others were just following the norms. He believed, internally and silently he gained lots of inner success. He was truly grateful upon the opportunities given. 

Yet, there was something that was lacking in his life, something that he tried so hard to root it out yet still failing. It made him upset and sometimes dragging him to a dead end. His evil black heart kept on dragging him to go over the boundary and breached the fundamental rule. It was not that he didn’t try, yet sometimes he was very weak and fragile inside. The inner window that securely protecting him all these while began to crack bit by bit. He almost lost hope and ran out of solutions. Often he prayed to Allah to guide him, protect him from all these unbearable tribulations.

A boy seeking for something

He remembered doing it over and over again. A firm promise that he made before was breached several times. He felt so guilty and kept on condemning himself. He had no idea of how it happened, it happened in a blink of an eye. He prayed that morning and followed by a dua’, a repentance seeking for Allah forgiveness and mercy upon his mistakes. That was not the first time he made such request. “Do He forgives me?” a question that he sometimes thought. 

He once had a dream; dream that he secretly kept, a chance that he never got and a wish that he always wanted. A dream to study abroad, to a country he admired since childhood. He had doubt about it, a doubt that he would never make it. The unexpected obstacles that made it impossible and he prayed. Yet Allah knew everything. Today he received news saying the dream would be realised soon. Alhamdulillah he landed safely eventually. 

He was new here. The life, school and environment were very strange for him. He knew that he could barely made friend and often lonely. Yet, Allah knew best and had a better planning than others. He knew that he needed a companion.  On the very first day, he met a boy, a not yet muslim heading to a similar class, yet stranded for not-knowing the venue. Now they were tagged, a helpful friend and a mate to share joy and happiness.

Life full of cost and obstacles, yet there is a way out. Seek deeper.

He reflected these and now he realized.

Allah had always cared for him. He may be full of sins, yet He would always bless the believers with love and mercy. He forgave us whenever we repented to Him sincerely irrespective how many time we did wrongs. He always knew what was the best for us. Sometimes we thought that the things we liked were the best. Yet, He knew more. Those we liked may not be the best for us, and those we hated may be good things. When the time was hard, and there was no way to turn, surely He would always be there, because He promised He would.

Now he knew, he should change his life. Turning over a new leaf was the best answered. Sometimes, the lures did come. Yet, he remembered, that Allah is always watching him, guiding him and giving him strength. He was not alone in this inner battle. He couldn’t afford to be defeated again. Yet, he was still learning, learning from mistake, learning from his lovable and caring companions. It was still a beginning. He prayed.

Ya Rabbi

Please forgive me for all my pass sins

I was too weak and vulnerable

I was wronged

For departed far from you

Guide me back to Your straight path

To Your light and blessing

Give me strength 

To practice Your true religion

Indeed, only to You I ask for aid and protection

Amin

There are something to be happy and grateful for, always.

Indeed, the race was still long and winding. He was just at the starting line.

An Arab is not superior over the non Arab. The white man is not superior over the black man. Yet, He will look in the taqwa in your heart. 

That’s for now. Take care till then. Jazakallah khayran for reading this.